A Life of Grace and Mercy: How to forgive and Forget
Remember the time when your friend betrayed you by giving away your secret? Or that moment when someone backstabbed you, and you could never trust them again? Even if those who hurt us are our closest family members or friends, their words or actions still sting. It’s not easy to forgive them. As Christians, we know that we must do our best to put aside our feelings and look beyond their actions to see the person they are in Christ. We need to love them despite how they have wronged us. But it’s easier said than done. Forgiving people doesn’t come naturally to everyone. It is something we have to train ourselves to do more often. And the good news is that the Bible equips us with all the advice we need in order to live a life of Grace and Mercy.
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, and forgiving one another, just as God, through Christ, has forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Colossians 3:13
Forgiveness is a decision we make.
For many of us, forgiveness was something we were told we should aim for, but we didn’t really know how to get there. The good news is that forgiveness is a decision we make. You have to decide that you want to forgive someone, and you have to decide how you want to do it. Forgiveness is a process, and it starts with the decision to forgive someone. You have to be willing to let go of your feelings of resentment. You have to decide that you want those feelings gone. Forgiveness isn’t just about the other person—it’s about you, too. You have to be willing to let go of the pain that their actions caused you.
Forgiving Others Isn’t a One-Time Thing
When we think about forgiving someone, we often think of it as a single event. We forgive the person, and we’re finished. In reality, forgiveness is a process that will play out over time. You might not be able to forgive someone the first time they apologize. And that’s okay. Give yourself the time you need to heal, and then decide if and when you want to forgive that person. Forgiveness doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s often connected to the pain you’re going through, and that pain can take time to heal. You might want to talk to a therapist or someone else in your church who leads groups or has experience in this area to help you through the process.
Don’t focus on the past.
Forgiving someone has nothing to do with what happened in the past. It has everything to do with you and how you want to move forward. You have to decide that you want to let go of the pain and be willing to put the past behind you. You have to be willing to look beyond the past actions to see the person God made them to be. You must be willing to look at the event’s circumstances and see why it happened. You have to understand the person who hurt you and what they went through. If you want to move forward, you have to be willing to forgive and forget.
Making the decision to forgive isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.
The goal of forgiveness isn’t to let someone off the hook. It’s to let you off the hook. It’s to let you move forward, to let you move past the pain that person caused you. You have to be willing to let go of the pain, but you also have to be willing to let go of the anger, resentment, and other feelings you have toward the person who wronged you. Holding onto those feelings will keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from healing. You have to be willing to make the decision to forgive and let go of those feelings. You have to be willing to look beyond the past and see the person God created them to be.
Focus on the present and look to the future.
When you focus on the present, you’re able to move past the pain that’s been keeping you stuck in the past. You can see the person God made that person to be and let go of the resentment and anger you may have been holding onto. You have to be willing to take steps toward forgiving and forgetting. You must be willing to look at the person who hurt you and see them as God sees them. You have to be willing to forgive and forget. You have to be willing to put the past behind you and look to the future.
Make a plan for moving forward.
Forgiveness and forgetting aren’t going to happen on their own. You have to make a conscious effort to let go of the pain and move forward. You have to set a plan to move past the event and forgive the person who wronged you. Start by being honest with yourself. Are you holding onto resentment toward someone? If so, you have to be willing to put that behind you. You have to be willing to forgive and forget. That can sound easier than it actually is, but once you decide to forgive, you have to be willing to make it happen. Once you’ve forgiven the person, you have to work on forgetting. You have to move past the pain and be willing to let the event go.
What Does It Mean to Forgive Someone?
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting what someone did to you. It doesn’t mean letting that person off the hook. It means letting go of the anger and resentment you’re holding onto because of what they did to you. Forgiveness is about accepting that the person who hurt you is human and choosing to move on. It’s about letting go of the pain and looking ahead. It’s about being able to love that person again. It’s about being able to be in a relationship with them again and moving forward together. Forgiveness is a choice, but it’s a choice that can completely change your life.
4 Ways to Train Yourself to Forgive & Forget
– Start a journal – Journaling is an excellent way to explore your feelings and work through your emotions. If you’ve been in a situation where you’ve had to forgive someone, journaling is a great way to process those emotions and get everything out. – Talk to a therapist – A therapist can help you process your emotions and work through any issues you may be having with forgiving someone. – Find a creative outlet – Write a poem or a short story about the event or person that you have to forgive. Get it out of your system through creative writing. – Pray for the person who hurt you – When you have the ability to forgive, you open yourself up to a whole new world of loving others. You have to be willing to let go of the pain that person caused and pray for that person. You have to be willing to ask God to help you let go of the pain and anger you have and to help you forgive and forget.
Bottom line
Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook. It’s about letting yourself off the hook. It’s about being able to move past the pain and move forward with your life. It’s about choosing to focus on the present, look toward the future, and put the past behind you once and for all.
